two

Seeing Yuan Zuyu make a "V" gesture at me, I, a mere commoner, instantly and effortlessly abandoned my original stance: in fact, this little rascal... is not so unpleasant after all

The mother was very dissatisfied with the dormitory environment, pointing out flaws here and there, and in the end, her tone conveyed genuine concern: "Junliang, why not consider renting an apartment to live in?"

After hearing this, he looked up to the sky and laughed three times, saying: "How could your boyfriend be with such a brainless girl like you?"

In fact, I do not wish to eat at the buffet, but seeing their enthusiasm, I do not want to say anything to dampen their spirits

I am truly afraid that as soon as I open my mouth, it will lead to a flood of emotions.

I truly disdain such lecherous individuals

However, I could not clearly articulate the reason, so the next time the chubby boy shared with everyone, I did not reach out to take it

A single question nearly made me spit out the chocolate in my mouth; this person is truly very gossipy! Why doesn't he become a paparazzo? Isn't it much more interesting to pry into the private lives of celebrities than to delve into the romantic life of an ordinary person like me?

Gu Ci Yuan pulled me aside and asked, "What has been going on with you lately?"

Only that one day, after that day, she walked among the crowd still with the demeanor of a queen overlooking all beings, only occasionally relaxing a bit when she was with me

How I wish to exchange lives with him, simply because he gets to enjoy such delicious Ferrero every day

This time it really escalated, in the next moment, Gu Ciyuan stood up with a pale face and said to Jun Liang and Du Xun, "I can't eat anymore," before throwing down his chopsticks and leaving. I did not look up until his figure disappeared, my eyes fixated on the innocent asparagus on the ground, and the surging bitterness in my heart overwhelmed me like a tide

But an illusion is ultimately an illusion, she sighed deeply: "Chuwi, from now on you and Junliang must take care of each other, and if you have the opportunity, come visit Auntie."

Suddenly, I let out a sigh in my heart, Gu Ciyuan, over the years, the one who has been closest to me is you, and the one who is farthest from me is also you

In the bathroom, I splashed my face with cold water and raised my head to gaze at myself in the mirror

I finally found the opportunity for revenge, my face expressionless, and without saying a word, I picked up that asparagus and threw it to the ground

Yuan Zuyue's method of eating a hamburger is different from ours; he first eats the middle layer of meat, and then he nibbles on the two pieces of bread. I frowned as I watched him, truly unable to understand his way of eating

Sitting on the sofa in the hall, at first, none of us spoke, but we simultaneously recalled that night of the graduation celebration. Ciyuan gently ruffled my hair and said, "Chuwei, do you know? The moment I feel the happiest every day is when I send you a text message saying goodnight before going to bed, even though you rarely reply to me."

"Hey, how are you speaking like that!" I bit into the hamburger with great dissatisfaction, the force of my chewing made Yuan Zuyu shiver.

I reached out and pulled him closer, burying my face in his thick coat, and he gently stroked my head as if he were petting his golden retriever at home

Our private room is at the end of the corridor, near the emergency exit. Just before entering, I faintly heard a heated argument in the dark stairwell. Out of boredom, I actually pulled Ziyuan along to listen.

The more one tries to bury it, the more it becomes evident.

Seeing him lower his head and close the private room door, I genuinely felt happy for Junliang

It seems like a beautiful fruit, being peeled layer by layer, gradually revealing its ugly core

Startled by him, I let out a small gasp. The teacher on the podium shot me a disapproving glance, and I immediately redirected that look to the timid class monitor: "What does it have to do with you! You just had a breakup!"

It was only after my conversation with Yuan Zuyu that I realized I am such a peculiar person: the more I care, the more I feel the need to act as if I do not care

Recalling how disheveled I looked that day, all seen by him, I just want to crash my head against something, or perhaps, let him do the same.

If he were to propose to me at this moment, I would absolutely marry him

Seeing that I did not respond, he presumptuously concluded that his assumption was correct: "Forget it, let's find another one. I see that you are not unattractive, so you shouldn't be unwanted."

Seeing the confusion on my face, she smiled again

When the class bell rang, Liang Zheng still wanted to continue advising me, but I decisively stopped him: "Alright, I will go apologize to him."

I looked at the sharply defined face of the young man before me and smiled quietly

However, in fact, there is really nothing that cannot be said, and no disgrace that cannot be revealed. Thinking this way, I poured out the entire story to Yuan Zuyu as if I were emptying beans from a bamboo tube.

This discovery left me suddenly feeling as if I had fallen into an ice cellar.

I hurried over and waited for her instructions with utmost respect. She reached out and touched my head, just as she had done many years ago when I first accompanied Junliang home for dinner. In that instant, I felt a sense of time reversing.

However, I feel embarrassed to say these words in front of Yuan Zuyu, and I am even hesitant to say them in front of Jun Liang or Gu Ciyuan himself. Shen Yan is right; my concern for face will eventually lead to my own disadvantage.

I am sorry

Based on my understanding of her, this question should serve as a prelude to what she is about to say next. However, the other three individuals are surprisingly contemplating this hypothetical scenario seriously. Junliang pondered for a moment and smiled as she asked Du Xun: "If you were to marry someone else in the future, would you want me to attend?"

In the following week, no matter how Junliang and Du Xun tried to mediate, both my and Gu Ciyuan's behaviors were identical. When I was invited to dinner, I would avoid it; when he was invited, he would decline. The situation escalated to the point where Junliang became furious: "With such a big issue at home, do you expect me to comfort you instead!"

I quietly rested on his lap, saying nothing at all

This is the feeling, do you understand

After fixing my phone, Yuan Zuyu stretched and said, "Alright, I just finished work too, let's go together"

There is no me in that laughter

He looked at me proudly and said: "I haven't experienced a breakup; I'm doing great with Tang Yuanyuan. But you, why don't you take a look in the mirror? You look like a storm cloud!"

Watching Liang Zheng's triumphant self-justification, the feeling of sorrow within me intensified. I wanted to compare myself to him; in fact, I considered myself relatively fortunate. Gu Ci Yuan had not done anything to betray me... This time, I indeed overreacted a bit... And Liang Zheng... He surely does not know that during the time he was unhappy, when Tang Yuan Yuan was being considerate and allowing him to "calm down alone," there was another person shouldering the responsibility of taking care of his girlfriend.

In order to quickly restore contact with the outside world, I skipped my afternoon class and took the invoice to get my phone repaired. After the teacher finished taking attendance, I was just about to sneak out the back door when I accidentally startled Liang Zheng again, but this time he chose to turn a blind eye.

Oh... he casually glanced at a hot girl walking past him. In the dead of winter, she was surprisingly only wearing a pair of black stockings

Gu Ci Yuan also cooperatively said to me: "If you are to get married, do not marry anyone else, and even more so, do not marry me"

I am fortunate to have Du Xun; otherwise, what would happen to the poor Jun Liang

I clearly remember that the first time I tasted Ferrero was from this little chubby one

After Junliang finished that sentence, the atmosphere became a bit awkward. Her mother hesitated for a long time before turning around and calling out to me.

It is a small round ball wrapped in golden foil, unlike the cheap chocolates found in school vending machines, which are hard and only taste sweet when bitten into

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of Tang Yuanyuan casting a cold glance at them, a look filled with utter disdain. However, I believe that within this disdain, there might also be a hint of jealousy.

A small voice deep within is asking, Song Chuwei, are you happy

You can only stand across the street, silently glancing at it before walking away, and from that moment on, in order to avoid seeing it, you will choose to take a detour

Although the passage of time is unpredictable, in that moment, I was utterly certain

Is the sense of satisfaction for humans derived solely from comparing themselves to those who are less fortunate than they are

When I made this suggestion, he did not even pretend to be modest, displaying a demeanor of a gentleman with complete openness, his face inscribed with four characters: deserving of it without shame

"Chuwi, I am sorry." He repeated it again

Sitting on a wooden bench in the square, each of us holding a cup of steaming grapefruit tea, she suddenly said something I couldn't understand: "Since I was sixteen, I have felt nauseous at the sight of ginger milk.

Gradually, I came to understand the meaning of the words she spoke

So, I am indeed such a shameless person who is strict with others but lenient with myself

I was taken aback, thinking it was all over; had I known earlier, it would have been better to pay for the repair costs

The cluttered thoughts made me appear burdened with worries, and Ci Yuan pulled me up: "Let's go out for some fresh air"

Out of shame and shyness, I turned my back to Ciyuan, so I did not see the fleeting panic that crossed his face

I silently pretended to tidy up the table, trying to minimize my presence so that the mother and daughter could chat without reservation. However, as I listened along the way, the awkwardness and politeness in their words made me, as an observer, unable to help but feel a pang of sadness.

Seeing the atmosphere so awkward, I felt quite embarrassed as well. After stabilizing my emotions, I hardly dared to look at Gu Ci Yuan's expression, and could only timidly lower my head and say softly, "I'm sorry, I need to go to the restroom."

I do not know how to tell him that, in fact, after witnessing the changes in Junliang's family, I have become much more understanding than before. Now, I rarely complain about life; as long as I can see him every day, and when I feel unhappy, just thinking that there is still someone like him makes me feel very happy.

Therefore, I would rather never have it at all

Lin Musuo came straight to the point: "I heard that you have had some unpleasant incidents recently, and I am here to see if there is anything I can assist with"

They are all laughing

If it weren't for being in class, I would really want to bluntly tell him to get lost, but recalling that he didn't report to the class supervisor when I skipped three days of class last time, I have no choice but to swallow my anger and not hold it against him

In the early hours, sometimes standing by the roadside watching the ebb and flow of people, I feel that the city is even more desolate than the desert. Everyone is so close to each other, yet completely unaware of each other's innermost thoughts. It is so noisy, with so many people talking, yet no one is truly listening.

I stared at him, really wanting to ask their manager why such an employee has not yet been dismissed

I remain completely still and silent; to be frank, I am truly at a loss for words

Some masks, when worn for a long time, truly become impossible to remove

Whenever I find myself in an awkward situation, I tend to lower my head and gaze at the ground beneath my feet, thus missing all the subtle expressions on Gu Ciyuan's face and the profound meanings in Lin Muse's eyes

In the splendid glass display window, you see something you like very much, beautiful, exquisite, and expensive

However, when I turned to look at Yuan Zuyu, he also had an expression of innocence on his face

My face is reflected in his pupils, this is the boy I deeply love

Jun Liang also put down his chopsticks and sighed deeply: "Chu Wei has already told us about Ci Yuan. That night, his phone ran out of battery. After sending Lin Mu Se home, he couldn't find you. After returning to the dormitory to charge his phone, he tried to call you again, but it was still unreachable. He waited for you at the apartment door for more than an hour. I told him that you accidentally broke your phone... Originally, if one person took a step back, we could have finished this meal and moved on. But look at you, what was the need for this."

Junliang's mother completed all the necessary procedures and visited her at school before going abroad. At that moment, when I opened the dormitory door, I was momentarily stunned. Junliang wore a calm yet distant expression on her face, despite the tears welling up in her mother's eyes.

Although there are times when I am so angry that I could almost kill him, for all the other times except for those "sometimes," I only want to love him well

She reached out and hit me, her face full of disdain: "Your QQ signature constantly says that Gu Ciyuan is a bastard; even a blind person can see that!"

"Yes, I deserve it," I said, suppressing my sobs.

There are three things in this world that cannot be concealed: a cough, poverty, and love

I nodded slightly, unaware of the expression on my face. I believe we all understand in our hearts that day is too distant, too distant...

I was taken aback; that voice was not mine. When I looked up, I saw that the person standing in front of me had slightly red eyes. For some reason, I suddenly felt like crying again

I kept my word; since my phone was broken and unusable, I didn't go for lunch and stood at the entrance of the boys' dormitory waiting for Gu Ciyuan. When I saw him walking towards me from a distance, I was so nervous that my whole body trembled

I feel a bit guilty about my discovery, considering I have a very handsome boyfriend! How can I think other guys are attractive? If Gu Ciyuan were to come and tell me he thinks some girl is pretty, I would definitely want to strangle him immediately

Well, since he has spoken, I have nothing more to say

Sitting in the private room of the karaoke bar, I made an effort to appear more sociable, so when Lin Muse and Jun Liang were competing to choose songs, I pretended to want to join in as well. However, the enthusiasm I feigned was fundamentally different from genuine enthusiasm. Eventually, I felt so hypocritical that I moved over and plopped down next to Ci Yuan.

Do you understand that feeling

I originally thought that Su Junliang would become a despondent person from then on, however, I was mistaken

His eyes were fixed on the screen, yet his hand reached over to wrap around my shoulder. I was effortlessly pulled into his embrace, and the familiar scent emanating from him calmed all my previous restlessness. I held his hand, and amidst the loud, booming music, I could hear the sound of my own heartbeat

In fact, it has only been a short span of two or three days, yet upon meeting again, the two individuals experience a sense of disconnection as if they have been separated by an entire era

After leaving McDonald's, Yuan Zuyue accompanied me to the bus station. Suddenly, I thought of something: "What did you say to your colleague? Why is he willing to help me fix my phone for free?"

Lin Muse held my arm: "Are we reconciled now? Before your winter break, let's gather for another meal together and invite Jun Liang as well"

Unexpectedly, Yuan Zuyu is not someone who takes advantage of others' misfortunes. Sitting by the window on the second floor of McDonald's, each of us has a hamburger; his drink is a medium Coke with ice, while mine is hot chocolate

At that time, my greatest dream was not to become a scientist, but to...! ... be that little chubby one!

Perhaps I have truly overestimated my acting skills. When I thought that only Junliang knew I was unhappy, the class monitor, Liang Zheng, also came to offer warmth to the classmates

Five people were gathered around a table, enjoying their meal. Lin Muse loved salmon sashimi the most, while Du Xun helped Jun Liang peel the shell of the steamed hairy crab. Gu Ciyuan, who had an extreme fondness for grilled fish, turned his face to find that aside from mashing the hawthorn cake in front of me into a pulp, I had made no contributions whatsoever

If I had a way, I would certainly dig a time tunnel back to that night, grab that neurotic Song Chuwei, and slap her twice to wake her up: Don't fall!

This is the first time I have been so candid; the love that Gu Ciyuan has given me has always been an unbearable luxury in my youth

Years later, sitting in McDonald's, I said to Yuan Zuyu earnestly, choosing to bypass the display window may not be due to a dislike for the items inside, but rather, an inability to afford them

Lin Muse asked us with great enthusiasm: "If your former boyfriends or girlfriends get married, would you attend their wedding?"

In fact, when he pulled open the glass door of McDonald's, I had already changed my perception of him. So, sitting down face to face and taking a closer look at him, I surprisingly found that this guy is actually quite handsome

Seeing that I remained silent, he mistakenly thought I was in agreement and earnestly began to share his insights on relationships: "In this world, there are no two people who are perfectly in sync; no one is born for the sake of another. There is always a process of adjustment... Of course, Yuan Yuan and I are exceptions. We have never quarreled. When she is unhappy, I give in a little; when I am unhappy, she allows me time to calm down. Therefore, we have always gotten along very well..."

Jun Liang smiled slightly: "Mom, I am not as precious as you think. Everyone can stay, so why can't I?"

The reflection of myself in the mirror appears uncertain, as if the once clear pupils are shrouded in a thin layer of mist

I, who was originally arrogant and overbearing, was rendered speechless by his two questions

As soon as these words were spoken, the smile on Gu Ciyuan's face seemed to be instantly frozen, and the three people beside him also displayed awkward expressions, leaving everyone momentarily at a loss for words

I saw someone come in with an invoice to repair a phone. Yuan Zuyu pretended to be very enthusiastic and poured me a cup of water in a disposable paper cup, then leaned over and asked in a meddlesome manner: "Haven't you reconciled yet?"

Yuan Zuyue directly asked me, since this relationship makes you feel so insecure, why do you still choose to be with him?

Taking two steps forward, I heard Lin Muse saying loudly and cheerfully behind me: "On the day I received the invitation, I called him and said, 'I have already prepared the wreath, I have no intention of attending your wedding, I only want to attend your funeral..."

In this regard, it is indeed reasonable and justifiable

Du Xun took the opportunity to go to the supermarket to buy snacks and drinks while Jun Liang was competing with Lin Mu Se for the wheat. I originally wanted to ask Ci Yuan to go along, but Du Xun patted my shoulder, smiled, and indicated that it was unnecessary.

Even if one day you truly obtain such a thing, your feelings will not be merely of satisfaction and joy; within that joy and satisfaction, there will always be a mix of anxiety and the fear of loss.

Du Xun is different from Ci Yuan. Ci Yuan always has a cheerful smile on his face, and his features are always filled with a sunny and festive aura. In contrast, Du Xun is always rather subdued; even when he smiles, it is extremely reserved. I once privately told Jun Liang that I think Du Xun is the kind of person who, even if he were about to faint, would first look for a clean place to fall.

She leaned her head against my shoulder, her voice tinged with an unmistakable weariness: "Chuwi, do you think that some masks, if worn for too long, might become the face?"

Du Xun smiled and said, "It's better if you don't come. I'm afraid you might bring a liquefied gas cylinder with you"

Under the glaring lights, I was horrified to see Du Xun, who was dumbfounded, and beside him stood a girl with tears streaming down her face—she was not Jun Liang

When I was in the third grade of elementary school, there was a chubby boy in my class whose father was the manager of a food company. He often brought him snacks that seemed lofty and unattainable to us peers.

It was originally the case, since you asked him to send that girl back, it indicates that you trust him. If you do not trust him, then why pretend? Is the act of being insincere really that amusing?

If I do not get up soon, I fear I will burst into tears in front of everyone. I truly cannot afford to lose face, so I hurriedly stood up and stumbled out. As I left, I did not even have time to say "goodbye".

During class, I was absentmindedly drawing Crayon Shin-chan's bottom in my book when suddenly a deep male voice leaned in close to my ear: "Song Chuwei, have you experienced a breakup?"

Seeing Lin Muse again, my expression was quite unnatural

Without me saying anything, he would understand my meaning just by standing here. I bit my lip and scolded myself in my heart, "You are being mute, quickly say you are sorry"

In fact, I am really not accustomed to him saying such things; whenever he does, I feel an overwhelming urge to cry, which is quite embarrassing

You always suspect that one day you will lose it, you always feel that the kite string in your hand may break at any moment

I do not know whether it is me or Ci Yuan, but I accidentally touched the touch delay switch on the wall, and the light turned on suddenly

I nodded my thanks to the boy who helped me fix my phone like a chick pecking at grains, and he wore a teasing expression, saying, "It's nothing, it's nothing, it was the least I could do..." While speaking, he also exchanged glances with Yuan Zuyu.

I am truly moved; as I watch his silhouette, I feel that if I do not leave soon, my conscience might compel me to tell him: Tang Yuanyuan is having an affair behind your back

He seemed quite unconcerned, and after finishing, he began to gossip: "Why were you two arguing that day?"

Perhaps it was my pitiful appearance that moved Yuan Zuyu, this beast in human clothing. I do not know what he whispered to that colleague, but the young man cast a complicated glance at me before silently turning away to look for parts and tools.

Because of love

Tang Yuanyuan, sitting next to Liang Zheng, also glanced at me. However, after just a brief exchange of glances, she quickly turned her face away.

The technician appeared at the appropriate time, holding a mobile phone, and said to me: "This is man-made damage, right? It is not covered by the warranty. If you insist on having it repaired, there will be an additional charge. What do you think we should do?"

Since being together with Gu Ciyuan, although there have been disputes, frictions, and conflicts, our feelings have deepened day by day with the passage of time and the change of seasons

In fact, we all know that this is just a joke of his, but perhaps I have entered menopause decades early, as I not only do not find it funny, but I am rather angry: "Rest assured, I will never marry you even in death!"

He leaned down and whispered in my ear, "Rest assured, I will not seek anyone else, and you should be a little more obedient too"

I did not know how I walked out of the restroom and returned to my original position. Their voices were faint and distant, until Junliang pinched me hard, and I finally awakened from this dazed state. The faces of everyone around seemed to be separated by a great distance.

Seeing Junliang truly angry, Gu Ciyuan and I could only sheepishly gather together for a meal. However, this meal was extremely unpleasant, as he didn't even pick up his chopsticks for the dishes I ordered

Perhaps it is because he has obtained everything effortlessly that he is very generous towards us classmates, often bringing delicious food from home to share with everyone at school

When I grew up, I explained to myself that it stemmed from a kind of pride of the poor, but at that time, I was simply thinking in a very pure way that having eaten today does not guarantee that there will be food tomorrow

Lian Junliang did not see through this point, yet it was unexpectedly revealed by this chance acquaintance, Yuan Zuyu

Yes, what is wrong with me? ... I also want to ask him: why is it that now, whenever I see you, I inexplicably feel like crying...

He turned his face and suddenly broke into a mischievous smile: "I told him, just do me a favor, you are my girl."

He couldn't help but quietly ask me: "Chuwi, what is wrong with you?"

I stared at him in confusion, ah, what is wrong with me? I did not realize that I was lost in thought. The next moment, I saw him frown, with something indescribable in his eyes, as if he were impatient, yet also trying hard to restrain his impatience

I was already feeling aggrieved and was almost ready to leave in anger when Du Xun desperately held me back, constantly signaling to Gu Ciyuan. Only then did he reluctantly place a piece of asparagus into my bowl

Yes, what I have been unwilling to admit to myself is that on that night, I indeed tested Gu Ciyuan using Lin Muse.

What should I do? What can I do?

However, this Ferrero is different; it melts layer by layer between the lips and teeth, rich and smooth, with a crunchy hazelnut at its core

Suddenly, I felt dizzy, lightheaded, experienced auditory hallucinations, had blurred vision, a dry mouth, and an overwhelming sense of internal turmoil

Junliang did not go to see off the plane, but that afternoon we all did not attend class

As I wiped my tears and snot on his clothes, I thought: Actually, Ciyuan is really wonderful, I want to cook red beans for him over a gentle flame and watch the slow flow of water side by side

She was convinced that I would choose to protect myself and that I would not tell Liang Zheng about what I saw and heard that day! Sitting on the bus, I thought with resentment: In this world, once a person loses their sense of shame, they can do anything better than others!

But perhaps it is precisely because his smile is so rare that it makes people feel even warmer

Upon hearing this, I immediately raised my head and looked at her with suspicion: "Have you heard? Who did you hear it from?"

Regardless of the circumstances, he helped me, and I must repay this favor. Since I didn't spend any money on repairing the phone, I will use this money to treat him to a meal

I took a glance at Lin Muse and Jun Liang, who were singing passionately, and feeling that my own voice was not worthy of showing off, I agreed.